Malaki Gryffin Ice was due November 6, 2022. On October 28th at 630 pm is when I last felt, what we know now, Malaki’s last kick. We got home around 830/9 o’clock while Jordan was with the other groomsmen in the wedding he was to be in the following day. I was laying with Mira and realized I hadn’t felt his normal movements when I lay down. Mira finally fell asleep and at 947, I told Jordan that I hadn’t felt him move and I was on the phone with the birthing center, letting them know what was going on and that I would be coming in due to lack of fetal movement,

I impatiently waited for my mother in law to get to our house to be with Mira so I could head to the hospital to meet Jordan and praying like hell that when I was hooked up to the monitor that I would hear his sweet heartbeat and realize I was overreacting....I unfortunately wasn’t.

On my drive to the hospital I started contracting every 5 minutes. I thought “maybe that’s why I haven’t felt him move, maybe I’m in labor.” By the time I got to the hospital and checked in, Jordan had made it, it was a little after midnight.

For context when you work in the birthing center, you know the sound of hooking someone up to a monitor and knowing there’s no heartbeat, it’s a gut wrenching sound of nothingness.

I still prayed his heartbeat would just appear on the monitor and everything would be okay. Two amazing nurses came in and tried to find his heartbeat, I knew when they went to get the doctor, but I didn’t want to believe it.

1235 am October 29, 2022..no heartbeat.

All it took was an ultrasound that seemed to last forever, and a sigh from one of my most favorite doctors to know and believe we had lost him. However it didn’t seem real. How could this be happening.

At that exact moment at 1235 am on October 29th, 2022, our lives were changed forever. At that moment we lost a huge part of our heart, and in that moment we knew we would never be the same again.

At 645am on October 29th, 2022, Malaki Gryffin Ice was born sleeping, and he is the most beautiful boy I had ever seen looking exactly like his big sister.

We got 10 hours of holding and snuggling our sweet angel baby before we had to say see you again one day. 10 hours will never be long enough...