Triggers, they cut deep

I try to avoid things that trigger my pain and my sadness but it’s harder than people think. My biggest trigger I carry with me every day, the trigger I can never avoid, my body. The only home he ever had, the only place his heartbeat, and the only place he got to be happy and safe and feel all the love we had for him. It’s forever stuck with me; the feeling of emptiness that I have to carry with me everyday. The loss of Malaki didn’t change me, it demolished me. Even now, I am still trying to figure out who I am without him.